My acknowledgements for this are few and far between, mainly because the last-minute nature of the fic put everything on me.
- First off, I'd like to thank Dr. Pepper. Without it, I would never have been able to stay focused through the late nights.
- Next off, my artist- lunanium ? She is amazing. She was a pinch hitter and she really knocked it out of the park, especially with that banner. Seriously. I have this ridiculous love for that banner that almost equals how much I loved her for stepping up when she didn't have to and spending so much time creating such lovely pieces for this. I really can't thank her enough.
- dontknowmyname , for the cheerleading and putting up with my "I can't do it. Oh my god. I'm going to die" spiels. She's supported me damn near seven years now, across multiple fandoms, and it was comforting knowing that if I totally bombed and no one read it, she would still wade through it and tell me it didn't suck. lol
- Everyone who has read it and/or left me feedback. I am forever indebted to your kindness- thank you for helping me not have a heart attack last night (I was so nervous...) And, besides that, your input and feedback really does mean everything to me.
So much reediting and attempts went into this, I literally have a folder on my computer that is serving as the scene graveyard. I think I may end up posting these as part of this, just for fun. (If I'm honest, though, there are actually two different versions of this story- this one and the one I wrote as my rough draft...)
Also, just for fun...
My original character notes on Jensen: (with the abundantly overused word reality)
1.) closed off and guarded (afraid to get close)
2.) wants to commit to the idea of Chris, too afraid to feel the depths of what he has lost and could lose again
3.) Jared's pull is physical- love, loss, and hope that gathers heavily in Jensen's chest.
4.) little glimpses of what used to be stun him into the realization he could have them again
5.) the idea of the stability Chris gives him outweighs the reality between them, but he hides behind it like a shield.
6. he resents the idea of Jared (hurt and instability), but loves the reality of him- wholly loves his presence and being, and deeply associates him with the bone-deep contentment of two years prior.
Thank you. :)